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Homestuck


A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is this young man's birthday. Though it was thirteen years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?

> Enter name.

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Posted at 12:10am on September 1st - 4001 NOTES


(Source: tsuki-nekota)



REBLOG IF YOU’D BE UPSET IF CASTIEL CHANGED HIS VESSEL
Posted at 12:09am on September 1st - 6121 NOTES


Posted at 12:09am on September 1st - 227416 NOTES

lolsofunny:

have you ever gotten to a point in a text conversation where suddENLY EVERYTHING IS CAPSLOCK AND YOU’RE BOTH JUST SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER FOR NO REASON



Posted at 12:08am on September 1st - 186403 NOTES

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.



BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND/ DATEMATE APPLICATION
Posted at 12:07am on September 1st - 363841 NOTES
#someone pls do this  #anybody  #i wont judge 

canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit:

doncella-anemona:

Name: 
Gender:
Height:
Orientation:
Age:
Eye Color: 
Hair Color:
Smoking?: 
Drinking?:
Drugs?:
Job:
Favorite Color:
Favorite Band:
Siblings:
Tattoos?:
Favorite Book?:
Perfect Date:
Hobbies:
Why should I pick you?:
Why do you even want to date me?:

I swear to God I’m just going to keep reblogging until I finally get a response

(Source: min-tto)




Posted at 12:07am on September 1st - 96066 NOTES

jethroq:

danadelions:

ja ja ja ja ja
a spanish person laughing or a german person during sex???

you decide

Finnish person struggling to remember what they were about to say next




Posted at 12:07am on September 1st - 147347 NOTES

spurca:

i often confuse my gaydar with my overpowering pleasebegaydar

(Source: timidbabie)




Posted at 12:06am on September 1st - 111488 NOTES
#it would be et vous actually  #its proper to call an elder or someone you dont know very well with vous  #tu is for peers and friends 

french teacher: ça va?
me: ça va HELLA, et toi?


Posted at 12:04am on September 1st - 15438 NOTES

(Source: rbertdowneyjr)



Posted at 12:04am on September 1st - 78 NOTES

infinity-comics:

Nightcrawler v4 #5 cover by Jamie McKelvie

infinity-comics:

Nightcrawler v4 #5 cover by Jamie McKelvie



Start Over | Go Back | Go Forward

the amount of hetalia in my blog is unhealthy whelp ^J^

but otherwise i reblog a lot of dumb webcomics(which are actually really great) and marvel or just other shitty things i see on this website that ruins lives.

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